we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize