i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
