Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't deserve a penis
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
