hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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