Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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