I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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