A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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