Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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