bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
