like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
