So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize