you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
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