Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
