Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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