We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
