so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
