I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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