Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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