I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
