glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize