the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize