And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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