ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
