# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
