So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
