Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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