i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Randomize
