wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There r osticjed everywhere
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
