my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize