Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize