Its about making memories worth repressing
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
