My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
