Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
