I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
