Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
