he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
