So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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