i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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