So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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