We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She bit a glass in half.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I need moral support for this bender
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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