What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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