please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we made out on top of his cat.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize