Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
