How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize