Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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