Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
