You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
