Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
