suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
