my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
