ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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