Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
