omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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