he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
