Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
