Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
