Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
