Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
