why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
