I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
